I Hate My Job/I Love My Job

I hate my job when... the presenter treats me like a personal assistant, asks me to go get her heavy box out of the car for her, and has a tone in her voice that simply says she thinks I am beneath her.

I love my job when... I basically say, "Peace out!" and go for a run on the sunny and sandy boardwalk in Virginia Beach during my lunch break. Don't you dare give me crap for it, I'm driving your snoring and drooling butt almost 4 hours tonight, so damn straight I'm taking an hour and a half for lunch.Damn Straight.

The Days Get Longer

Here’s a clearing house post, to make up for the fact that last week, while I had a great presenter I was stuck in a part of the country that made me want to beat myself over the head. No offense to the better parts of the Midwest, but I have to say that Indiana, Toledo in Ohio, and Michigan definitely qualify for “fly-over state” status. Anyways, I’ll give you a run down of things I’ve been thinking about:

Job Satisfaction

At some point in every job I’ve ever had I’ve lost interest. Maybe I have career ADD. I’m good at pushing through for defined periods of time though, something that has helped me with any class I’ve ever taken. Luckily, this job is extremely defined. Two more weeks and I’ll have the first real Christmas break I’ve had in a long time. Maybe that’ll help me wake up at 6am and actually almost care about what I’m doing.

Because in fact, waking up at 6am has become a process of dread. Every day I know I will face people who will not be satisfied… people who rudely refuse to fill out evaluation forms with only 4 questions, people who are insulted that you cannot solve all of the problems that they themselves should have checked on, participants who rudely insinuate that I’m insane to be doing this job, hotel staff that either move like molasses or go so far over the top to be nice that they cant get anything done for all their graciousness. There are plenty of folks who are nice, but it’s hard sometimes to put up with all of the crap that gets thrown my way… especially when I’m in places like Detroit or Toledo where there’s nothing to be done outside the seminar.

Luckily, this week I should be able to go traipsing through Phillidelphia and drive down to the lovely little part of Long Island that another PM and I found last time I was there. Then there’s Chicago… and man am I looking forward to that. It’s going to be great fun to wander around town with KAL, just being low-key but seeing a great city. That’s what I love about this job, and what I just can’t do in Toledo or Detroit—getting out and investigating cities. Detroit’s hotel did have a water park, but considering it had only one slide and I was the only guest in the entire park, it was just awkward.

The Future

It’s the thought of indefinite periods of time spent working a single job that grabs me by the throat and throttle the will to work out of me. That’s what happened with my last lab job… and what I fear will happen once this job is over. I don’t know much more now what I want to do than I knew before. All I know is that I don’t want to spend an exorbitant amount of money on grad school unless I know that it will be worth it. Debt has always scared me and I’d managed to avoid credit cards entirely until now (but those reimbursement checks cover all of that anyways), but to pick up debt in this economy without a clear method of paying it off scares me.

The state of the economy also scares me. What does one do when things are heading towards a depression and there’s no clear career path to head down? I think I need to start working towards a position that can become a career, because I need to be able to build into a promote-able position… but not knowing which direction to go in bogs me down.

In fact, I want to make a plea of anyone who actually reads this. Sometimes people outside of the situation have the clearest sight of the situation. If you don’t mind, I’m extremely curious what any of you see me doing as a career. Please leave a comment… Do you see me in a suit running business meetings? Do you see me back in a lab coat? Do you see me with a reporter’s notebook? Anything would be helpful.

NaNoWriMo

No, I did not finish. I got 60% done, and then realized I needed to rewrite a section of over 800 words as well as write all of the sections that I had not really thought out. Once I got bogged down in feeling sick and not wanting to eat, writing completely lost its excitement and I fell far enough behind that I couldn’t manage to continue. I’m going to try to get the story finished, and the plan is to push for Christmas. It’s horribly terrible in my opinion, and I’m at the point where I hate every word of it, but I wanted to do this, so I’m going to finish it. That’s what I do, complete assignments.

Christmas

As far as Christmas goes, I’m really not feeling it at all this year. Considering I don’t really feel a spiritual connection to the holiday, don’t really feel excited about spending it with family, and pretty much hate the present aspect, I wonder how I make it through every year. Many of my friends are going to leave town around the holidays too, which makes me sad since I finally have time to spend with them.

However, I don’t think I’m a scrooge anymore since I don’t mind that other people enjoy Christmas and I’m happy to try to make their holidays more fun. While I exempt myself from the cousin gift exchanges because I don’t want it to become my aunt buying me a present and my mom buying my cousin a present, I do like to give gifts. I just don’t like feeling forced to do it all at once along with the rest of the world and honestly I really appreciate giving little thoughtful things more than big all-out extravaganzas. Plus, I’m trying to get better at accepting gifts with excitement.

One thing I think I’ve realized is to ask for different things, no matter how much it feels odd to request things out of someone else’s generosity. I don’t want clothes (unless you’re getting me silly socks, underwear, or Christmas pj’s just for fun), but I like getting accessories, especially scarves and mittens and the like (anyone who hasn’t heard of it should check out Etsy.com for fabulous homemade things. If shipping doesn’t work out in time, I’m always a fan of getting a photo of what is headed my way). I’d love a stash of books to take on my flights, or CD’s/iTunes gift cards to entertain me. I’ve already got a decent book list in my archives on this blog, but as for CD’s, I’ll try to fill in a list at some point (although new bands I might like are always appreciated, I’m into slightly folksy music lately a la The Submarines and The Weepies). I also told Mom that I want stuff I hate buying for myself: makeup, perfume, gift cards for treatments like pedicures, haircuts, facials, or massages. Also, no matter how picky I am about coffee now, I’d still love the international coffee currency (ie a Starbucks card).
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So that’s that for now. I’m somewhere over the Dakotas on my way to Philly right now, connecting to Manchester, NH (if only it was England!!). I’m hoping to beg the Shuttle driver into driving me to town since I’m going to be lacking a car. Hopefully more posts will happen this week as I can feel the weight of crappy Midwest hotels and grouchy participants lifting. But expect a nice ranty post about the Newark Holiday Inn… ugh.

Week 1 Recap

The lack of posts last week might be rectified this week... I brought my computer. Even better, I'm sitting at my gate waiting for my Continental flight to Houston and discovered that I'm close enough to the outside of the "Elite Access" club room that I can pick up the free wifi signal. :)

Last week was a whirlwind... Packing was stressful, flying was typical, renting a car and driving in a new state was completely new and different, and being with my training group was fun and helped me get a handle on how all of these various little components of the job come together to make sense on a daily basis. Yet, it was nice to get rid of all the extra people and just do the job. Learning anything new takes more mental energy than once you've got a handle on it, and that was definitely the case all week. I came home exhausted, but thrilled with everything.

As for the highlights: seeing Maureen in Atlanta, making a lunch run over the river to take pictures in Kansas, getting room service and watching the debate in St. Louis, and splurging on a taxi ride to the Five Points South district of Birmingham and getting Indian at Taj, as recommended by a friend who grew up in B-ham. Some of the crazy moments: driving into construction and detour "road spaghetti" on the way to the St. Louis airport, working with the slowest staff ever in B-ham and having to ask for every little detail that was already outlined on their confirmation sheet, and realizing that coming into a city in the dark every night means I might be sketched out in even a nice part of town. My presenter this week was nice enough, although she had very little interest in going out or leaving the hotel. In fact, she liked to get to where she needed to go right away and stay there. No dinners out with her, but at least I had my training group to ease the boredom.

So some statistics (as per the suggestion of my dear friend KN :)):

• flights: 4
• airlines: Delta (x2), Southwest, American
• cars rented: Blue Chevy Trailblazer
• states visited: Georgia, Missouri, Kansas, Alabama
• new states: 4
• dinners alone: 2

This week is a southwest adventure, from Houston to San Antonio, to Dallas, to Phoenix, to Alburquerque and then home. I'll be flying every day this week and racking up the miles! We'll see how much internet I can manage, but hopefully I'll be able to at least stake out claims near the elite clubs. :)

Boredom Hits Critical Mass

Well, doing nothing is fabulous until you hit a point where it ceases to be so any more. Then it becomes stifling, confining, depressing, immobilizing and just plain annoying. You spend a whole entire day sitting at your computer, commenting on your photos, fiddling with facebook, youtube, and any blog you can find. Then you look around, realize it's dark out and you haven't A: gotten out of your pajamas or B: left your apartment.

YES.

How long have I been dying to hit this point? I want to see what happens now, once I'm good and bored and needing to figure out what part of my life I want to focus on. Here's what I can come up with with an extremely bored brain--

• Option 1: go finish reading the book I'm working on.
  
• Option 2: pull out the art journal and make a huge arty mess.
  
• Option 3: go clean my room and the kitchen for the people who are coming to look at the apartment tomorrow morning.

Obligations schmobligations... I'm going to put on some loud music, put on some dancing shorts and dance-clean my room and do my dishes. I'm going to get a semblance of organization to gear up for the big move and clean out some of the cobwebs floating around in my head. Then I'll probably collapse on my bed and read for a few more hours before waking up tomorrow and finding a solid purpose.

I've done nothing for a week, with a few minor acheivements... the greatest of which was buying a pair of grown-up pants (technically: a designer pair of grown-up pants that weren't eggregiously expensive but were definitely more than I had initially counted on spending. of course, I think I thought I was going to get nice tailored tweed pants for $30. wrong.) Doing nothing to the point of absolute boredom was what I wanted to do, but now tis time to enjoy being unemployed. Really enjoy it.

Re-evaluating, and #96

So, I guess I was counting on life getting in the way of getting things done when I put in the last few goals on my 101 list. Either that or I was copping out of thinking of four more goals. I've been really bad about getting around to re-evaluating the list, which I was supposed to do in June, but here's my changes:

• 4. Bike to work every day for a month. No longer an option, so it's going to become "Go on a 30+ mile bike ride."
• 6. Take a tap class once a week for three months. I don't see myself doing that, but taking a single tap class will be feasible, and will likely make me want to take more.
• 7. Do a stretch routine every night for a month. and 9. Do an ab workout every night for a month. and 13. Floss 1x a day for a month straight. These are simply not working because i seem to not like to do things on a daily basis (surprise). I'm going to aim for 3x a week, and make the flossing for two months straight because that's a habit that I need to really get into.
• 46. Read Popular Science to see if I'd ever want to write for them. I need to scope out more magazines than just the one, so I'm changing it to "Read three science magazines to understand what science writing is all about, especially medical science."
• 48. Read Bonnie's New Yorker's fiction piece at least 6 times. Well, I never did that and now Bonnie doesn't get the New Yorker, and I'm not going to be living with her anymore... so now it's going to be "Read non-fiction or travel writing in a magazine I could submit to and write an article in the same style." since I need the writing practice anyways.
• 60. Complete a Project 365. Well, the camera met the ocean and I was so far behind already at that point that 2008 is no going to work out, so I'm adding in a little extra goal to this, to entice me to start before Jan 1, 2009: "OR a photo-a-city for BER."

I'm also going to relax a bit on the goals themselves as they reach completion... There have been many that I really haven't kept track of as I was actually doing them. That and I went to Mexico and never really learned any spanish, but didn't need to know any. So completed goals are now up to 15/101. I'm behind by 9 for being at 8 months in (at a 3/month completion average rate required). Luckily, I've got a lot of free time to work on some of the easier-to-complete goals, being unemployed and all.

Lastly,there is number 96... What to put in for that one? I think the new goal, much facilitated by my new job and ever-increasing competition with some friends (who know who they are... ;)) will be to "Increase my states visited to 40/50." Should be fun, relatively manageable, while getting some stories along the way.

leap day means an extra chance

So far, February has mostly been a wash. Yes, I actually did get some stuff done (taxes & CSA), but overall I'm feeling frustrated by this month...

• Flossing is not working for some reason. I want to do it every night, and I'd made it over a week before simply forgetting and going to bed after only brushing. Ever since then, I haven't made it more than 2 days in a row, although it's definitely over 3 days a week since I started, I'm not meeting the goal, or really feeling compelled to.
• The snow has crapped out. Suddenly I don't have powder to board on, and I'm going to struggle to get those last 3 trips to the mountains in. Last Monday, Vinh and I rented skis to make the iced-over day more interesting. It worked, but it's not the same. I'm so happy that I have skill at boarding that I want to continue to develop. Now I just have to think of it as spring season... Even though it's still February. Damn Global Warming.
• I need to post pictures of my snowboard gear that I need to sell... Plus now I need to sell my old raincoat since I got a new one. Maybe this weekend I'll get around to it...
• In the career front, I've been actively reading and thinking about a career in science writing. There's a program at UC Santa Cruz that is highly reputable, but I'm struggling with whether getting a science writing certificate rather than a journalism MA would be worth it if at some point I want to move away from science altogether. I suppose once you've established a record and a career in journalism, any kind of writing will open up whether I have a fancy degree or not. Now if I would just CALL the admissions people and see if I have a chance in hell at getting in...
  
• I also realized that I HAVE been trying new restaurants in seattle... Starting with January 1st. Jade Gardens with Vinh (1-1-08) and also O'Asian with my parents (2-9-08). Both dim sum places. Jade Gardens wins for food, O'Asian for atmosphere.

So that's the list of what I'm acctually accomplishing. Maybe more of a story-based entry to come.