Settle Down?

While this journey across the US has been wonderful in many ways simply because I have been places I never intended to go, and many places I never intend to go back to, there's some definite fun in picking the places that I would go back to. Here's a list of places I deem worthy of a second glance, or a long hard look:

• Boston, MA. I could see myself living here or going to school here for a few years. It's definitely joined San Fran on the list of cities I would live if I had to live somewhere other than Seattle.
• Portland, OR. Seattle-light is definitely a place I could spend some real time. With all the hipsters, bikers, coffee maniacs, greenpeacers and liberals, it's definitely a city where I could lose myself in becoming eco-friendly and bike every which where. It's flatter than Seattle too, as long as you stay in the river valley, and closer to both the coast and the mountains.
• Washington DC. I can almost see myself living here if it wasn't for the constant 60-hour work weeks and subsequent frat-party binging that I witnessed in the short time I was there. It was pretty fun, incredibly beautiful, and really friendly to an active lifestyle... Which I'd need to hold back the liquid calories.
• NYC... Oh but to live there for two years: one to get your footing, and the second to actually enjoy it. Only it would cost me more than I would make in 10 years to manage it. At least I can go back to visit.
  
• Portland, ME. I'd love to live here for a year. I know the winters are brutal, but in a way I'd just want to know what it's like to hunker down in one of those adorable little clapboard houses and eat seafood every day down at the local bar with all the crusty folks laughing and carrying on. And I'm dying to go to Maine in the summer.
• Phoenix, AZ. Just for the winter is the eternal clause on this one... and NOT in Scottsdale. While I'd live in ME for a winter, I don't think I could handle a Phoenix summer. Maybe I could make it here a year if I just did camping trips all summer up near Sedona and Flagstaff, or really anywhere in the southwest.
• Burlington, VT. Hippies, yoga, Whole Foods, Ben & Jerry's, a big beautiful lake, maple syrup, and colleges everywhere... I could definitely spend more time here... Maybe even go to school here.
  
• Charlottesville, VA. I'd LOVE to go to school at UVA, at least for a little while. This is just an adorable town with a nice vibe. Plus, TJ designed it.
• Charleston, SC. I could vacation here for a while... the slow, southern pace just makes it really peaceful. And I feel like there was so much more outside of the actual city that one could see. Savannah, GA is pretty much the same... but I liked Charleston more.
• Salt Lake City, UT. I want to go snowboarding out of here so badly it hurts.
• Rapid City, SD. Driving through the Badlands and surrounding areas rather than flying over them would be spectacular.
• Miami, FL. This city is just a riot of color, "culture," and craziness. I'd love to spend a longer weekend on South Beach, when it's not thunderstorming.

And probably many many more... Does anyone else have a fave I've left off this list? This isn't completely comprehensive--it's just the places I've visited for my job and on stayovers (keep in mind I haven't been to California yet. Nor have I been to Arkansas or Oklahoma...). What have I forgotten?

Southern Living

Savannah, GA has been on my short list of places to go for a while now. Last year, I spent a weekend in it’s sister city, Charleston, SC and had a fabulous time. This year, I found myself ending a week in Columbia, SC and I sent out a missive seeing if anyone else could make it. When all was said and done, Heather was the only other PM able to come, but we made the most of it.
I drove in from Columbia and had the chance to cruise around checking out Savannah before Heather landed. Just in case you were wondering, driving around the most haunted city in America on a night with not only a full moon, but the largest, brightest full moon of the year is not the best idea to get yourself ready to go out alone. I ended up spooked by the Spanish moss hanging from the trees, terrified by the creepy statues, and shaken by the crumbling architecture. I ate some groceries in my room and drank some wine with my chocolate to wind down from freaking myself out. (Evidently I scare easily). Heather arrived and we shared some bubbly at her suggestion and gabbed about BER and life in general. Soon enough, we crashed into our beds (one of the best beds I’ve slept on in ages… it was one of those bowling-ball mattresses!) and were up in time for the Krispy Kreme and coffee breakfast.
We picked up a rental car since the weather was not cooperating and then headed off to the downtown area. Paula Dean’s was our first stop. Lady and Sons has a southern buffet lunch, and DAMN. I ate so much, and drank so much sweet tea I really did think I was going to explode. I don’t want to think about how many calories I consumed (weekend stayovers don’t count anyways!).

We tried to walk it off, and ended up going into some fun shops and found ourselves at the Juliet Gordon Lowe house. We both felt a little nostalgic for our girl scout days since JGL was the founder of the girl scouts and the house was overrun with little brownies and juniors in their uniforms. I was tempted to buy the pin you can wear on your vest, but decided I’ve passed that stage of my life. We drove around some more to see the cool old architecture (the drizzle and cold simply prevented us from actually enjoying walking). We walked around the cemetery in the daylight (I was definitely not that interested in a ghost tour at this point, especially with how cold it was!), and did try to hit up a brewery for dinner, even if we could barely manage to finish half of the nachos we ordered to share. We got up to leave, gave up our prime location, and in walk the first cute guys we’d seen the whole time in the bar. Shrugging, we gave up and went back for more wine, trashy TV, and oh-so-comfy beds.
Sunday morning we went for a frigidly cold run in Forsyth Park, where my minimalist shoes and running style seemed to hold up remarkably well, even if our fingers never actually warmed up. Then we were off to the airport and I was off to Phoenix. I could wish that the weather had been better, or that more people had been able to come so that going out would have been more fun, but really, all in all it was a great time in a great city.

A Quick Stop For History

My Philly hotel was right by Valley Forge National Park and we had a short drive yesterday, so my presenter and I went to check it out:Inside Washington Memorial Chapel.

Some replica huts like the ones the soldiers stayed in during their winter encampment. Our wonderful guide assured us, no one died by freezing in these--they are quite cozy.

Washington's headquarters. Looks posh, but the guide assured us, it was much colder (before central heating was installed in the 1930's) than the cabins. It's the actual building he rented during the winter encampment. The kitchens and stables attached to the house are still standing as well!

It's great when I get a chance to actually take advantage of being in places I'd never go otherwise. Once we arrived in Bethlehem, Kathleen and I had a great dinner at Bethlehem Brew Works (as per Kelly's suggestion via the BER food blog), another great place that I'd never have known about before. We're off tonight to drive up into the hills (don't call them mountains) of Pennsylvania.

Oh, and I got almost 8 hours of sleep last night... Go me!

When Worlds Collide

Sometimes when I'm on the road I happen to be in the right place at the right time. This was one of those times.
Sarah Palin is holding her first book signing in Grand Rapids, MI tonight, and I happen to be in that very city. Of course my presenter and I had to do a drive by and see what the security detail would be, and whether the line would be long.

The TV contingent was really the most impressive part, but there was definitely a crowd gathered outside the Barnes and Nobel in question. This morning, my presenter had prompted me to do a search to see if what one of the participants had told her was true, that the former potential second-in-command of the USA was going to be in the same city as we were that night... And Oh, what I found (scroll to the early morning stuff).

Celebrity is always fascinating to a segment of the population, and honestly, I was a bit curious to see what she'd do or say. A bit. If my presenter wasn't really sick, I'd probably have tried to wander over there and see what all was going on. But I was not interested to the point that I was going to stand outside in the chilly weather any longer than it took to snap some photos or sit on a cramped floor for hours waiting to Maybe get a glimpse. Much less interested to the point that I would wait outside all night. Those days are far behind me. I've waited in line to be at the front for a concert, I've done black friday at 5am... I've done the experience and no faux-politico is going to entice me to do it again. Even a chance to see Obama speak wasn't enough to entice me to wait for an indeterminate amount of time and to change my train ticket.

After all, I've gotten a hug from Jesus.

Take that Palin.

The Definition of Silence

I was just driving back from getting a nice Panera lunch in Rockford, IL and I found NPR on the radio. In general, NPR is pretty reliably liberal but evidently when you get out into farm country, all bets are off. I was listening to a segment of Point of View in which a fairly non-radical christian was discussing the idea of gay marriage and the usage of "sexual orientation" in protective laws.

When I first tuned in, they had a weak but almost understandable point that the term "sexual orientation" might be too vague. One of the guy's points was that "there are a lot of really horrible things that people do sexually, and do you want to protect everyone who perpetrates such acts?" which ended up being a rather vague point. Then he went on to discuss how the Boy Scouts are facing the brunt of this law--they are being forced to allow homosexual members or are being forced out of parks since they have a religious mandate that is inherently prejudiced against gays (although to be fair, I have not checked that fact...is that actually true?). Then he went on to say that the media involvement and various laws allowing gay marriage were in fact "silencing those christians who believe in Biblical and traditional values."

He also brought up the recent stupid answer by Miss California USA in the Miss USA pageant (stupid mainly because she never actually answered the question) and even stupider response by Perez Hilton (stupid mainly because the guy is incendiary and not particularly rational in his arguments) as a way to show how any "good girl with values" is turned into a national pariah because of her religious values (I don't think she even mentioned religion in her answer which, included the phrase "Americans can choose between a traditional marriage and an opposite marriage"--both completely false and wtf?! worthy).

Hold the phone... remember this is NPR. NPR!! Oh Illinois... you make me sad today.

Here's why I was bothered by this argument:

#1: Who are you to say what kind of sexual relations are "horrible?" I agree that there are a lot of people out there who take part in various "kink" activities, but who am I to judge when it has no effect on me? Does our constitution and bill of rights not protect our individual rights in our own homes? I'm going to assume that you think that homosexuality is a disgusting, horrible sexual kink, but where do you draw the legal line? Is oral sex a horrible kink that should be considered in job application and other legal circumstances? (Sodomy is outlawed in many states in laws that I think even most "biblical christians" would agree are far past due for repeal.)

#2: To go one step further than your argument against protections for "sexual orientation"... If homosexuality is a part of you from birth, then would you ask for "race" to be repealed from the same laws? If (and in my mind it's just an if to appease those who insist) homosexuality isn't a facet of your innate personality and is in fact a choice, would you also request that "religion/creed" be struck from these laws? Maybe the language is too broad, but then again "race" covers everything from african, asian, jew, norweign, and german and "religion/creed" covers satanists and cultists.

#3: To speak to the Boy Scout point, I'm not so sure that I agree with all of the prosecution against the Boy Scouts, but there are precedents that are allowing these cases to go through. The Boy Scouts are a private organization and have nothing to do with government, but as a private institution they cannot discriminate just the same as any other. Do we allow them to prevent a black boy or a hindu boy from joining or a hispanic man or jewish man from being a troop leader? Then why can we allow them to prevent a homosexual boy from joining, or a homosexual man from leading the group? I like to think that our views of race have changed over time to find the prospect of banning a black troop leader due to his race absurd. Perhaps my argument fails in the backwoods of the country.

#4: My main confusion really boils down to one major question: how does protecting one group of people and affording them the same rights you have silence you? Simply because you allow homosexual couples to have the same rights as heterosexual couples by law and in terminology, how does that "silence" anyone? The act of allowing one group additional rights does nothing to remove your rights. You can still speak out about whatever you want, but you cannot act against a group because of one quality of that group. I pose this question: Would you not hire a Jew? Would you not serve a black person at your restaurant? Would you want the government to not allow inter-racial marriages (oop, depending on where we are, that might be a bad question to pose...)? Have you ever considered that it is your own insecurity with your sexuality and fears about other definitions of sexuality that prejudices you against those of other sexualities much as your own insecurity about your own personal power and fears about other cultures can lead you to be racist?

So yes, there are some things that need to be legislated simply because there are people who are so far off the grid, they refuse to open their minds to other human beings. Laws against racism and religious prejudice are there because there are many, many people out there who would otherwise discriminate. This is simply a law that protects a group of people who are different, whether by their natural condition (race) or their choice of lifestyle (religion), and we are adding another group that fits this law perfectly. If we are going to allow the biblical christians to have their say, we must also allow the homosexual community to have the same rights, not silencing one compells us to not silence the other, and un-silencing one has no bearing on the vocal quality of the other.

Seeing the Country in 20 Months

Screw only making it to a reasonable 40 states—I’m going to see all 50 in less than 2 years.

At this point, my only remaining states to get to are as following: Alaska, Arkansas, Connecticut, Hawaii, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Mississippi, Oklahoma, North Dakota, Vermont, and Wyoming… At least two of which (Vermont and Maine) that I am guaranteed to get to by the end of May, and one more (Connecticut) that I have a high likelihood of driving through. For BER, I can definitely make it to almost everything that is left on the list, excepting Alaska and Wyoming. With KAL’s help, I hope to make it to Alaska for a short jaunt sometime in the not-too-distant future and I’m contemplating a little road trip to Yellowstone as soon as I get back for the summer this year. So, if you start with October of 2008, when I started this job, by the time May or June 2010 rolls around, all I have to do is go to all the states I am lacking, and add in extra visits to California and Florida to say I did all 50 in about 20 months.

Then you add in that I’ve gone to all of the more southern provinces of Canada west of Quebec and have at least been to Puerto Vallarta in Mexico, and I feel like I’ve covered most of North America. Then count that I lived in Paris for three months, toured Italy, and spent a month in New Zealand and Australia, all before turning 26, and I can hardly believe it myself. Now to just finish making it happen!

Hope and Its Burden

Okay, Vegas stories to come for all you patient chickadees, but there's other things I'd like to say first about the inauguration, if you'll allow me a rather circuitous route to it...

Life has a way of changing what I think of it constantly, especially regarding its purpose. As a child, I can remember being very moment-to-moment about my goals in life. My purpose was always some tangible thing or translatable abstraction--from being a scientist and curing cancer to having a life philosophy of tolerance, it was all very clearly defined, straightforward, and completely rationalized. At some point in my teen years, I lost all forms of faith and optimism, realizing that the forms of spirituality in my life were clogged with human failings and childish obedience rather than any real understanding of hope. I'm sure you all have undergone similar questioning periods or ambivalent stages in your life regarding what you are really here to accomplish, even if they were not so pronounced or disruptive as mine or perhaps more so. We all eventually have to realize that our state of understanding is in constant flux if we are ever to come to terms with our own failings and achieve any kind of real wisdom.

Not that I claim any kind of real wisdom; I am only just now coming to the full understanding that what I think now will eventually be usurped by another thought and that I will never achieve any final pinnacle of awareness. There is no final pinnacle after all, and no better or worse. No, what I am trying to say is that I'm just now coming to the understanding that the purpose of my life, in this moment at least, is evolution (And before you say anything... I don't mean a biological evolution, Jeff ;)). If you pay attention, you'll see a pattern of reoccurrences in your life. Every time a situation arises it provides you an opportunity to react however you want. When you refuse to change how you react, you do not evolve but only continue to perpetuate the cycle. If you break the cycle, new opportunities can arise for you to grow and evolve in new ways. The funny thing is, no one has to be conscious of this pattern and often your growth occurs in a sub-conscious state, but if you pay attention to it, you can start to control it.

I could go into my latest thoughts on life here, but without belaboring the point this last summer I started to see this pattern in a different way than I had before. Deliberately, I pulled myself away from the path that I had found myself on, and stepped outside of the cycle. Albeit, I did it in a fairly comfortable way--with a job that was relatively easy to get (due to strong connections and actual experience I had never realized I had) and that provided me with a short term guarantee of not having to figure out what else to do. My outright, conscious goal with this job was to push my limits of my self-definition, primarily socially. What happened was a strange shift. I discovered that the social definition was a piece of cake to alter, but multiple other aspects of my life shifted far more drastically than I had even dreamed. Somehow, I am now absurdly optimistic compared to the girl I was six months ago. I am happier, healthier, more stable, and so much more in control of my life that most of my anxiety about my future career has become a flimsy shadow of what it once was.

So there's a personal reason that when I sit in my hotel rooms alone with my TV, I start bawling every time I listen to Obama give a speech. It's not that I agree with everything he says, or expect that things will change overnight, it's that the rhetoric he uses meshes so completely with the experience I've had lately. He speaks about the evolution of America, with the obvious example of the gradual change from slavery to an African American president, but he carries it on into the future. While the last 8 years have been about staying the course and fighting any threat to our way of life as if America was a static nation, Obama is explicitly working at changing our way of life while retaining the principles that made us great. America is an ideal, one that may never be fully realized but one that we can strive towards, and while there is real work to be done, Obama's optimism regarding the ideology of our country is absolutely refreshing. After all, I have learned the value of being optimistic over the last few months... Less things go wrong when you optimistically know that it will all work out, if only because you automatically make space in your mind to react rather than anticipate and therefore can rectify any situation far faster.

His message is focused on sacrifice as well, with emphasis on the idea of community and hard work. I have long spent time separating myself from those around me since at one time, those around me separated themselves from me. Again, his message hits a nerve... as I have slowly begun to understand what a true community of friends I have and can have, and what a difference my "new-found" social skills have made. Acting out of Love towards everyone I meet is something I never really consciously decided to do, but I found myself doing it and started noticing it. A warm greeting and the intention of empathy in my heart makes such a difference... it's simply astounding.

So for me, every time our new president has gotten up on his podium to tell the American people that "Yes, We Can," my heart wrenches in the best way possible. I think I cry for the lost time, for the pain we all had to inflict on ourselves before we could come to this understanding and the pain that will continue to afflict us. I cry for the people who cannot fully understand the power of this kind of philosophy, including my own self-consciously simplistic understanding. I cry for the fear that the hope will fade and that the fear-mongering of the last few years will drop a pall over this light. I cry because I feel such immense joy that this world can change if we only let the power of the human spirit burst free of the chains of pessimism. I cry because I am intimately and personally wrapped around the philosophies that I am hearing our country embrace. I cry because I know that tomorrow the practical aspects of daily life will come creeping in on the celebration, and that we will all be tested as to whether we can actually live up to these ideals.

Martin Luther King Jr. was an idealist who never saw his full dream realized. The dreams of today will undoubtedly be similarly long-lasting and long-languishing before they can be fully realized. I smile because I know that there are others in the world that share the burden of hope that one day they will be realized. One day, we will evolve.