A Christmas Carol

Ho Ho Ho...

Okay, screw it. I'll tell it to you straight: I hate have a fairly negative history with Christmas.

From being the adorable 2-year-old given a tiny-sized softball mitt and squishy ball, only to burst into tears and exclaim, "I don't even know what it is!" to the young adult dressing up as a goth for a practical joke/spiteful statement for my dad's side of the family (in particular my grandmother), I've often been a bit of a brat on this particular day. Every year I am a huge grinch... but I realize that being a spoilsport isn't much fun. So I've been working on my attitude and those reflex reactions that come out of nowhere to make the social constructs of Christmas more fun for myself and those around me.

I feel like putting some of this together as a way to explain why I probably will never have a collection of Christmas music or your typical giddiness as the day approaches.

Christmas Past:

Not to complain (as I realize that my attitude is mostly my reaction to situations, not from any particular person or cause), but rather to explain I'll ask the question: "Where did all of this grinching come from?"
After reflection I've decided it probably something to do with the pressure of being one of the oldest kids out of both sides of my family, the first girl (on both sides), and the total attention of waaay to many adults after being dragged around without a nap for days on end. While I've been an attention whore my whole life, something about those preliminary years definitely affected me:

As I grew up, I (young, sugar-charged, and sleep deprived) was asked to babysit and organize my younger, equally sugar-charged, sleep-deprived cousins into family Christmas pageants every year upon our arrival at grandma's, which my perfectionist nature made into much more traumatic experiences than necessary. Add in many many years worth of this constant self-inflicted pressure, my grandmother's eternal need to create drama out of nowhere, complicated relationships between my parents and other relatives, one year's explosive expletive-filled expulsion from the Hughes-family festivities, and a growing sarcastic nature and this is what you get:
Christmas Present:

A smile on my face? Me, wearing a red Christmas sweater dress? Is this really even possible?
Evidently it is. If...

I just do all my shopping online a few weeks ahead except for a few projects I can knit up on planes and a couple of little things to pick up in the last week. And then I avoid all Christmas things, even on the road where decorations and constant music are ubiquitous. Perhaps I get sick with an intense cold, and spend a couple of days on the couch, knitting and avoiding food prep (especially the exhausting cookie making). Then, on Christmas Eve, I regain my strength, finish my shopping, wrap everything, and help with the prep for dinner. Christmas day, I manage to nap a bit, work on the set up for the second party in two days, and focus on the constant clean-up and moving along of the festivities while my house is besieged by 20 other people. I make sure that the white elephant gift exchange has written rules and take control so that it moves along as quickly as possible, making it possible for everyone to leave by 9:30pm. Then I give up and escape at around 10:30pm, when a few of my cousins start clunking out "heart and soul" on the piano over, and over, and over... directly above my bedroom, and then continue for another hour.If I can still have a smile on my face after all that... I can manage Christmas.

Christmas Future:

I can remember one time in my 25 Christmases where I understood the Christmas spirit and enjoyed my family and everything about the holiday. That was the year where my immediate family was traveling in the Southwest--touring about about in an RV from Phoenix to Santa Fe (where we spent Christmas itself) and onwards to Monument Valley, Chaco Canyon, and the Grand Canyon.

So my ideal Chirstmas wish is to eventually re-create this holiday escape... I'd love to spend the holiday in a snowy place like New England, or in a German or French town with Christmas markets, somewhere warm for a tropical Christmas in sundresses, or even just escaping to a cabin by the Washington Coast or in the San Jauns. Somewhere new every other year... away from all of the traditions that make me feel the triggers of the past.But we always have to have a Big Freakin Tree.

Photo Crazed

So, every once in a while my days get easier. These two-day seminars I've had this week are probably the best thing that's ever happened on this job. Two days in a hotel... Two days in a city... Every other night without travel... Seriously. This is what I think of as the height of luxury.

So I'm posting photos to my flickr page. I get really bad about doing this on a regular basis. Also, I realize that my first couple blocks of photos to put up are all from July... (Fairbanks! Wallace Falls Hike!) and it will continue all the way through to yesterday's adventure to the St Louis Gateway arch. The hotel connection can only move so fast, and I have a few things I want to get to today in St. Louis before flying out (perhaps a photo at the airport a la George Clooney?!?!), so we'll see how far I can get.

I have a lot of time ahead of me over break though, and while much of it will be filled with friends, family, and holiday fun, I'm going to need to find things to fill the time. Once I catch up with sleep that is... Anyone who's going to be in Seattle should let me know when they are free for fun little adventures!

Before the Boarding Door Closes

Thoughts before boarding in O'Hare:

• Today was not the day to mess with me. I have a short fuse after being super exhausted (which no amount of sleeping 12 hours a day seems to fix), and having a lack of hot water in the morning and a heating system in my hotel banquet room on the fritz (for the second day, after they insisted it was working) definitely did not help. Don't ignore my 50th plea to fix the thermostat. Don't take 15 minutes to get to my request every time I ask while you insist you must lock me out of being able to touch the damn thing. Don't get defensive when I point out that a 30 second adjustment is all I'm asking for. Because you will pay for it with a verbal tounge-lashing resulting in me getting my way.
• I don't throw the hissy very often, but turns out it works. Like gangbusters.
• I still don't really get Chicago.
• I still don't get how people SUCK at going through security. Really, you had 15 minutes in line and you're just NOW emptying your pockets? Put it in your laptop bag, your coat pocket, a pocket on your rolling bag. Take out your laptop and hold it so you can put it straight in the bin. Untie your shoes if you're not wearing slip ons already. Take off your coat. Pull out your liquid ziplock. If there's no line, take your time... but with a 15+ minute line, you owe it to everyone else to figure it the hell out.
• Did I mention I'm grouchy today?
• Grouch Grouch Grouch Grouch Grouch Grouch Grouch Grouch
• Why won't people who clearly have been removed from my life stay removed? Not helping my grouchy day, buddy.
• They should have left this place an orchard.
• I'M COMING HOME FOR TWO WHOLE WEEKS IN TWO DAYS OH THANK GOD FOR CHRISTMAS BREAK I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!

In-N-Out, or Furthering the Fast Food Agenda

What does one do when a 7pm flight gets delayed even further? Go to the airport at 4pm like normal? No. Not in Phoenix.

In the vein of my Chick-Fil-A epiphany, I made a bee-line straight for In-N-Out burger in Tempe by the ASU campus (thanks to MJC's awesome directions :)). Definitely still just fast food, but the fries alone made it worth it. The freshness was definitely a startling discovery... especially watching someone make fries from POTATOES. Who would have thunk it? Really, it was more fun to be able to say I finally ate at In-N-Out than anything else, but it made me giddy all the same.

Then I was off to Popagano park to wander around. I found out the Botanical Gardens were there, and headed over only to find that they were closed early for a luminaria display tonight... that started at 5:30, exactly when I needed to be dropping off my rental car. I glanced through the gates though, and was sad I had to miss it. The cashier directed me to walk up to Hole in the Wall trail, and so I did. I watched most of the sunset from this glorious rock formation, before heading back to the airport.

It's days like this, when I've ditched my presenter (even if they're a great one) and have some time to myself that make me so happy and remind me why I have this job.

It's A Love/Hate Relationship...

I hate it when Southwest jumbles our flights, saying we need to take the later connection, booking us on it, then urging us to make the earlier flight we were originally booked on, and finally, puts our bags on the later flight meaning we had to return to the airport to pick up all of our baggage once the next flight lands.

I love it when I walk out of the airport and see that my hotel is directly across a smallish parking lot, meaning that I'm going to earn a $50 voucher for walking less than 0.25 miles back to the airport about 75 minutes later.

Recipe for Greatness

Here's a sign you've been on the road too long:

I make non-instant oatmeal in a coffee pot.

Upon discovering that microwaving oatmeal ends up in overflowing water and oats in your microwave, I put the oats in the coffee pot and let the hot water and burner do the trick on it's own. It takes a little longer than the directions insist, but it's also way, WAY better than instant.

How you ask?

Step 1:

Buy good oatmeal. I got the old-fashioned oatmeal from whole foods. It's supposed to cook in about 4 minutes. I suspect that if you want to start the oatmeal early enough you could even cook steel cut oats in this method. Just make sure your coffee pot doesn't turn off automatically too soon. Get something that has good flavor but cooks reasonably fast.

Step 2:

Measuring is all about proportions. Look at the directions provided and come up with a ratio. 1:1, 1:1.5, 1:2? Now just use your hotel provided coffee mugs and work the proportion. Fill the cup halfway (remember, the oats will expand), and then add the corresponding amount of water--a half cup, three-quarters cup, or full cup (or whatever). You don't have to be exact with this, but err on the more water side for less chewy oatmeal.

Step 3:

Put oats in the carafe part of the coffee maker, then add the water to the water part. MAKE SURE there is no coffee in the basket (unless you like coffee-flavored oatmeal, which could be interesting...). Just to be sure sometimes I run a full pot of water through to clean out the inner workings. Turn on the coffee pot and let the water percolate.

Step 4:

Periodically check and stir oatmeal. Usually I let it sit on the burner for about 5-10 minutes. This helps keep the hot water heated while the oats absorb it and boils off the excess water. You can always tip out water from the oats at this point if the ratios are off. Stir it so that you don't burn the oatmeal too badly to the bottom of the carafe.

Step 5:

Eat! I've found that honey makes a great sweetener if you need it, and you can always add mini-moo's if you need a creamy texture. Just realize that a packet of oatmeal and a bear of honey packed next to each other evidently look a lot like a bomb in a checked bag... Silly TSA.

You're not done though!

Step 6:

Fill the carafe with water and let it soak. This way, any oatmeal that has stuck to the bottom will be easily removed. Then, use a washcloth to wipe it out, or leave a bigger than normal tip for the maid.

Acceptable Fast Food

I've always been a Wendy's proponent... a small chili, side salad, and a frosty is my go-to when I have to resort to fast food. It's honestly one of the few things I can get from the standard chains which include everything from Applebees and Cracker Barrel to TGI Fridays and Bob Evans. I have constantly turned up my nose at many fast food options that I'm unfamiliar with, including Chick-fil-A.

For you west coasters, this franchise is ubiquitous throughout the midwest and the south. It's in malls, airports, free standing restaurants, and roadside plazas. I see teachers in certain areas coming in with their breakfast bags from Chick-fil-A rather than McDonald's or Dunkin Donuts. Yet, I had avoided it like the plague. The oddly anti-french spelling of the chain, it's popularity with teachers, and the general fast-food nature of it scared me away. Turns out, it's actually one of the best options out there when you're in a crunch and don't want Panera.

I had a wrap--it was grilled chicken, non-iceburg lettuce, tomatoes, carrot shreds, cabbage, and a little cheese wrapped in a multi-grain flatbread. It was simple food at it's best, and it felt decently healthy... although at 410 calories and 12 grams of fat, that certainly wasn't actually the case. Is it strange to anyone else that "grilled" chicken can actually be fattier than fried? Or that flatbread wraps are worse than buns?

The good news was that it tasted pretty darn good, and filled me up. So maybe my prejudices against certain chains need to end.