Off to whistler for the weekend... Two more snowboarding days and lots of fun to be had for all. No blogs til monday (does this count as blogging once this week if I try to write two longer entries next week? I think maybe so!), but there should be something to write about by then. Check out my photos for project 366 until then!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
closed doors
Sometimes, even when the new year is beginning, I feel like I am staring down all of the possibilities that will never be. Lately, I've felt frustrated at home, in my job, and even in my creative endeavors. I haven't written much of anything beyond what I'm posting on here and what I've been scribbling in my journal over the last week, and while I feel incredibly uplifted by the activity of writing every day in my journal and by participating in Project 366, there is still a bit of me lagging. Part of the frustration comes from not being able to let go--I can't let go and just scribble, I can't let go of the daily grind of work, and I can't let go of the frustration of walking into a messy apartment that's only half (or maybe a third) my fault.
Today just felt like a million doors slammed in my face. I woke up late and missed a bus because I didn't feel good, but whining about maybe fighting off a cold doesn't get you any leeway. I fought my way through work, but since there really isn't enough work for 5 people to be occupied constantly, the lull periods caught up with me and allowed me to wallow in feeling crappy. Of course, now that I am home and have laid around watching TV and relaxing all night, I am feeling better. I feel like I'm allergic to work, yet, even when there are lull periods, I get nothing done that is actually productive, work-wise or personally. Maybe eight months in is about time to take a real vacation.
...so after a day of dreary boredom, closed doors, and frustration, it's time to start looking for the open window.
Today just felt like a million doors slammed in my face. I woke up late and missed a bus because I didn't feel good, but whining about maybe fighting off a cold doesn't get you any leeway. I fought my way through work, but since there really isn't enough work for 5 people to be occupied constantly, the lull periods caught up with me and allowed me to wallow in feeling crappy. Of course, now that I am home and have laid around watching TV and relaxing all night, I am feeling better. I feel like I'm allergic to work, yet, even when there are lull periods, I get nothing done that is actually productive, work-wise or personally. Maybe eight months in is about time to take a real vacation.
...so after a day of dreary boredom, closed doors, and frustration, it's time to start looking for the open window.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
progress reporting
It's 6 days in and I can hardly see results. My flickr Project 366 set is woefully lacking 360 photos still, my journal is only 10 pages in, and I'm going to have to put off selling my snowboard until after I loan it to a friend for our Whistler trip. But on the other hand, I'm getting myself out of bed to brush my teeth and I'm curling up with my moleskine and my pen to write out both the positive and negative effects of the days. My camera is constantly with me allowing me to take shots of things I normally would just pass by without a glance and I even went to a yoga class today. So why does this feel so much better than a New Year's Resolution? Probably the chance to mess something up and try again (I've given myself a lot of leeway on this... none of my goals require perfection on the first try).
I'm trying to keep up with my list in the sidebar, and putting even more effort into not allowing myself to go for too many goals at a time. The only two things I have completed is the knitting project, and sending out thank-you notes for Christmas gifts (which is only one part of that goal... it cannot be crossed off in its entirety until June '10!). Here's the list of what I've made steps towards:
3. Snowboard 10x in one season. (2/10) [Two more to add when I get back from Whistler, and maybe one before that!]
12. Brush teeth 2x a day for a month straight. (5/30)
34. Set up automatic payments for insurance and car payments. [Just have to mail in the second form, and get the companies to recognize them.]
56. Write a journal entry everyday for at least 3 months straight (Embodiment). (5/92)
57. Write a blog post a week for 3 months straight. (1/12)
60. Complete a Project 365 (or 366...). (5/366)
That's quite the list for the first week of the year. I'm surprised how easy the regular things like journaling, teeth-brushing, and Project 366 have been to accomplish. Soon enough, I'll add the yoga to this list since I felt really wonderful at class this morning. If I can get myself to go to more classes on a regular basis again, I'll be crossing that one off sooner than I thought! I should also soon be started on more of the car details since I have to do tabs next weekend. I'll probably go get everything else done-- whatever I choose to afford at least. Plus, I have to buy my roof rack for snowboarding because of the Whistler trip upcoming so there's no reason to not get the rest done. Luckily, one of my car purchases is solved already-- I went home for a Epiphany Lunch/ Brunch/ let's- just- enjoy- these- decorations- one- more- time- before- mom- takes- them- down Party. Grandma and Grandpa came over too, bearing "Epiphany presents." Mom, Dad and I had just been talking about how I needed a brush/scraper thing for my mountain-bound car when Grandma handed me just that! Thanks to Grandma I have one less thing to shop for on my way to crossing off another goal.
I'm trying to keep up with my list in the sidebar, and putting even more effort into not allowing myself to go for too many goals at a time. The only two things I have completed is the knitting project, and sending out thank-you notes for Christmas gifts (which is only one part of that goal... it cannot be crossed off in its entirety until June '10!). Here's the list of what I've made steps towards:
3. Snowboard 10x in one season. (2/10) [Two more to add when I get back from Whistler, and maybe one before that!]
12. Brush teeth 2x a day for a month straight. (5/30)
34. Set up automatic payments for insurance and car payments. [Just have to mail in the second form, and get the companies to recognize them.]
56. Write a journal entry everyday for at least 3 months straight (Embodiment). (5/92)
57. Write a blog post a week for 3 months straight. (1/12)
60. Complete a Project 365 (or 366...). (5/366)
That's quite the list for the first week of the year. I'm surprised how easy the regular things like journaling, teeth-brushing, and Project 366 have been to accomplish. Soon enough, I'll add the yoga to this list since I felt really wonderful at class this morning. If I can get myself to go to more classes on a regular basis again, I'll be crossing that one off sooner than I thought! I should also soon be started on more of the car details since I have to do tabs next weekend. I'll probably go get everything else done-- whatever I choose to afford at least. Plus, I have to buy my roof rack for snowboarding because of the Whistler trip upcoming so there's no reason to not get the rest done. Luckily, one of my car purchases is solved already-- I went home for a Epiphany Lunch/ Brunch/ let's- just- enjoy- these- decorations- one- more- time- before- mom- takes- them- down Party. Grandma and Grandpa came over too, bearing "Epiphany presents." Mom, Dad and I had just been talking about how I needed a brush/scraper thing for my mountain-bound car when Grandma handed me just that! Thanks to Grandma I have one less thing to shop for on my way to crossing off another goal.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
paring down the enormity
The start of the New Year was really wonderful. Monday night was spent with friends, playing Wii and drinking champagne as the Space Needle fireworks lamely fizzled out. The next morning, Vinh suggested dim sum which was much fun (and so very tasty!) which we followed up with a nice walk along the waterfront all the way through the sculpture garden and Myrtle Edwards park. A little coffee shop chillin' (and journal writing), then the Rose Bowl, and subsequent photo uploading and knitting. Overall, a very laid back and relaxing day off to start things off right!
So in order to start off this list properly, I figure I'll have to create a shorter list from the main one. To kick things off, I'm going to work towards starting at least 10 goals this month, finishing at least 3 since that's the number required per month to stay on track. With one out of the way last night, I'm on a roll! I've also started working on Project 366 and journaling every day, keeping track of my teeth brushing (and dragging myself out of bed to make sure I get it done at night, a downfall of mine sometimes), and sending out thank-you notes for christmas (now I just need to remember to put the stamps on and stick them in the mailbox). So here's the list of what I'm getting started on or hoping to finish before Valentine's Day rolls around.
To finish by Feb. 14th:
12. Brush teeth 2x a day for a month straight. (1/30)
34. Set up automatic payments for insurance and car payments.
38. Sell snowboard and coat on Craigslist.
39. Do my taxes by Valentine's Day.
40. Get car details completely fixed up (4th headlight, check engine light, etc).
62. Learn to knit cables. (1-1-08)
82. Send thank-you notes for all gifts from Christmas and birthdays. (C07, B08, C08, B09, C09, B10)
To start working towards:
2. Become capable enough at yoga to comfortably complete a level II class.
3. Snowboard 10x in one season. (2/10)
17. Take a spa day once every 3 months (Hot House, Massage, Facial, Manicure/Pedicure, or Bubble Bath work!) (0/11)
24. Fill food journal with recipes.
56. Write a journal entry everyday for at least 3 months straight (Embodiment). (1/92)
60. Complete a Project 365 (or 366...).
67. Back-up hard drive 1x a month for a year straight. (0/12)
68. Get desk fully organized and keep it neat for 3 months.
93. Join Netflicks and develop a 20-movie list. Watch them. (0/20)
94. Buy 10 CD's rather than downloading. (1/10)
So in order to start off this list properly, I figure I'll have to create a shorter list from the main one. To kick things off, I'm going to work towards starting at least 10 goals this month, finishing at least 3 since that's the number required per month to stay on track. With one out of the way last night, I'm on a roll! I've also started working on Project 366 and journaling every day, keeping track of my teeth brushing (and dragging myself out of bed to make sure I get it done at night, a downfall of mine sometimes), and sending out thank-you notes for christmas (now I just need to remember to put the stamps on and stick them in the mailbox). So here's the list of what I'm getting started on or hoping to finish before Valentine's Day rolls around.
To finish by Feb. 14th:
12. Brush teeth 2x a day for a month straight. (1/30)
34. Set up automatic payments for insurance and car payments.
38. Sell snowboard and coat on Craigslist.
39. Do my taxes by Valentine's Day.
40. Get car details completely fixed up (4th headlight, check engine light, etc).
62. Learn to knit cables. (1-1-08)
82. Send thank-you notes for all gifts from Christmas and birthdays. (C07, B08, C08, B09, C09, B10)
To start working towards:
2. Become capable enough at yoga to comfortably complete a level II class.
3. Snowboard 10x in one season. (2/10)
17. Take a spa day once every 3 months (Hot House, Massage, Facial, Manicure/Pedicure, or Bubble Bath work!) (0/11)
24. Fill food journal with recipes.
56. Write a journal entry everyday for at least 3 months straight (Embodiment). (1/92)
60. Complete a Project 365 (or 366...).
67. Back-up hard drive 1x a month for a year straight. (0/12)
68. Get desk fully organized and keep it neat for 3 months.
93. Join Netflicks and develop a 20-movie list. Watch them. (0/20)
94. Buy 10 CD's rather than downloading. (1/10)
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
starting everything off on day one
In order to have a chance of finishing 101 goals, some of them must be easy enough to cross off quickly. Turns out knitting cables is even easier than I thought it would be! With some scrap yarn, a scarf pattern that I modified, and about an hour of boredom this evening I made this little iPod cozy, allowing me to cross #62 off the list.
Knitting cozies may make me sound insane, but I usually destroy my headphones by throwing my iPod in my bag along with pens, keys, and many other sharper objects. So rather than just making a swatch to simply learn the stitch patern (which would be no fun really) I learned both cable knitting and seaming in one project.
So with that, the list is starting to pare down! Only 100 items to go...
Knitting cozies may make me sound insane, but I usually destroy my headphones by throwing my iPod in my bag along with pens, keys, and many other sharper objects. So rather than just making a swatch to simply learn the stitch patern (which would be no fun really) I learned both cable knitting and seaming in one project.
So with that, the list is starting to pare down! Only 100 items to go...
Monday, December 31, 2007
last second thoughts
It's natural for me to get in over my head with ideas. I'm already starting to think that my list is going to happen far too quickly, so it will be fine to add auxiliary items. Perhaps it is a good idea to give the list one more go through, to determine if any goals have lost their purpose or interest in the last two weeks that I've been working on this.
I've really been wanting to add the goal of documenting and categorizing all spending for a 12 month period, since I think that's a very admirable goal and something that I need to do so that I can actually see what I'm spending on things. Without a real checkbook to balance, I don't really pay attention to the amounts I spend on things. So, I'll add that, but what to take out? "Rollerblade around Greenlake 1x a week for a month" seems a little superfluous after all the other exercise goals. Even in the agony of removing a goal from the list, it's a change that's good and actually makes the list harder. We'll see if I have any more last moment edits before the night is through...
I've really been wanting to add the goal of documenting and categorizing all spending for a 12 month period, since I think that's a very admirable goal and something that I need to do so that I can actually see what I'm spending on things. Without a real checkbook to balance, I don't really pay attention to the amounts I spend on things. So, I'll add that, but what to take out? "Rollerblade around Greenlake 1x a week for a month" seems a little superfluous after all the other exercise goals. Even in the agony of removing a goal from the list, it's a change that's good and actually makes the list harder. We'll see if I have any more last moment edits before the night is through...
Friday, December 28, 2007
always doing everything at once
New years always mean resolutions, no matter how much I resolve to let myself go past an arbitrary milestone without declaring it important. Last year's January 1st meant a lot to me... it was a true milestone as I came out of my depression, graduated college, and gave away many things, emotional and physical, that were holding me back. I, for once, was able to start the new year with a new journal (leaving only a scant 19 pages in the previous volume unadorned) along with the hopes of writing and making beautiful pages once a day. That goal failed sometime in February, along with a lot of the hopes for a New Start. January and it's concurrent resolutions come once every 12 months, so if I fail... Well, it's a dismal prospect by August.
Enter the 101 in 1001 meme. It is true that giving oneself goals in a time frame where failure becomes an option allows one to get past the "failure equals giving up" problem that I face time and again with resolutions. Thus, here comes a list of what I think are almost too easy goals--goals that I am almost certain to complete 80% or more before 1001 days are up (Sept. 28, 2010). I am not being overly optimistic in these goals for once, although there are a few that will definitely cause me to step outside of the comfort zone (see #22-relearn French, #55-NaNoWriMo, and #85-reconnect with lost friends). The point of this list is for once to allow myself some imperfection, to fail and try again: to miss a day of photo-taking for Project 365 and start again the next day, or to snap 2 the next day and never look back. 1001 days allows multiple attempts at everything on this list (as long as I do more than one thing at a time, I'll be well on my way).
I've noticed that many of these goals are somewhat health-related. Two of my longest categories are "Health and Athletics" and "Food." The biggest category overall though, is split up--my Creative Pursuits. Everything from reading, writing, and creating actual artwork has started slipping ever since I entered a job that I'm constantly becoming more dissatisfied with. I am incredibly dual in my perspective--right brained and left brained, artistic and analytical--which often slips by the wayside when I'm working in a scientific career. It is extremely important that I keep this duality along with my healthy pursuits of physical activity and personal growth... Plus the writing and art goals make for wonderfully specific goals!
The one part of the list I feel compelled to address is the last 6 goals. I have given myself the goals of re-evaluating the list every 6-or-so months and determining another goal to add to the list. While this feels like a cop out, I've dubed it "Ongoing Education" because I feel that without re-evaluation from time to time, my life tends to follow a straight and narrow path that often lands me where I don't want to be. This allows me room to challenge myself further, to change my mind, and to not be so god-damned perfect all the time.
So here's to imperfection and the manifestation of my future!
Enter the 101 in 1001 meme. It is true that giving oneself goals in a time frame where failure becomes an option allows one to get past the "failure equals giving up" problem that I face time and again with resolutions. Thus, here comes a list of what I think are almost too easy goals--goals that I am almost certain to complete 80% or more before 1001 days are up (Sept. 28, 2010). I am not being overly optimistic in these goals for once, although there are a few that will definitely cause me to step outside of the comfort zone (see #22-relearn French, #55-NaNoWriMo, and #85-reconnect with lost friends). The point of this list is for once to allow myself some imperfection, to fail and try again: to miss a day of photo-taking for Project 365 and start again the next day, or to snap 2 the next day and never look back. 1001 days allows multiple attempts at everything on this list (as long as I do more than one thing at a time, I'll be well on my way).
I've noticed that many of these goals are somewhat health-related. Two of my longest categories are "Health and Athletics" and "Food." The biggest category overall though, is split up--my Creative Pursuits. Everything from reading, writing, and creating actual artwork has started slipping ever since I entered a job that I'm constantly becoming more dissatisfied with. I am incredibly dual in my perspective--right brained and left brained, artistic and analytical--which often slips by the wayside when I'm working in a scientific career. It is extremely important that I keep this duality along with my healthy pursuits of physical activity and personal growth... Plus the writing and art goals make for wonderfully specific goals!
The one part of the list I feel compelled to address is the last 6 goals. I have given myself the goals of re-evaluating the list every 6-or-so months and determining another goal to add to the list. While this feels like a cop out, I've dubed it "Ongoing Education" because I feel that without re-evaluation from time to time, my life tends to follow a straight and narrow path that often lands me where I don't want to be. This allows me room to challenge myself further, to change my mind, and to not be so god-damned perfect all the time.
So here's to imperfection and the manifestation of my future!
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